When I was 16 I thought I was a loser because all of my friends and peers were preparing their college admission essays and figuring out what college they would be going to, while I was playing music and planning a life on the road.
When I was 18 I thought I was a loser because all of my friends and peers were having the time of their lives “enjoying the college experience” while I was stuck working a job and going to a community college.
When I was 22 I thought I was a loser because all of my friends and peers were applying to grad school or law school while I was applying for a low paying job and moving back home.
Now I am 27 and every once in a while I will hear that voice calling me a loser because all of my friends and peers are getting married, having kids, landing stable jobs for their careers, and living in big cities while I’m still living with my parents and working three jobs just to stay above water.
Here are some things I have recently realized.
- Everything I’ve done has been a choice. I could have applied to college at age 16. I could have applied to grad school or law school. I chose not to, and I can choose how I feel.
- All those times I felt like a loser in community college I didn’t realize I was working towards being accepted into one of the most prestigious universities in California.
- All of those times I felt like a loser I was comparing myself to others. This is a toxic thing to do, doesn’t help anyone, and doesn’t consider all of the hard things your friends and peers have to go through.
- And every time I hear that voice calling me a loser now I remember all of the awesome and incredible things I’ve done and continue to do. All of the places I’ve traveled to, all of the amazing people I have met, all of the opportunities I’ve had the privilege of pursuing are all do to the choices I’ve made and the situation I am in now.
- All of those awesome and incredible things I’ve done weren’t meant to prove anything to anyone but myself.
The reason I decided to write this is to tell you all this: if you feel like a loser, you probably aren’t.